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Are you loving your partner while following the same path in life? Do you feel “in flow” with them? If you’re disconnected, are you overly focused on chasing your dreams while in a relationship? It’s a delicate balance of energy and needs but everyone can do both dreams and relationships.
Can you actualize your dreams while being in a relationship?
The big question many ask is can you chase a dream and be in a relationship? Anything is possible, but most are under extreme pressure to be perfect in every domain of their lives.
Can you balance your relationship and work without driving yourself to a mental breakdown? After all, having a healthy relationship takes effort but so does pleasing the office boss.
The simple answer is yes but you need patience, planning and emotional awareness.
Did you also know that you can leverage business concepts when exploring how to build a healthy relationship? When you start a job, you try to find one that aligns with your values and can support your dreams.
It’s the same when chasing your dreams while in a relationship. You must align your values, plan together and ally yourself with your partner to achieve a common vision. Then, chasing/pursuing dreams together becomes a natural collaboration effort.
With or without business experience, the point is to not get complacent or take each other for granted. The less mind-reading you do and the more co-planning moments you have, the more realistic you will be in chasing your dreams while in a relationship.
10 tips to have a healthy relationship when chasing dreams
How to balance your relationship and work is about navigating your emotions. This only becomes a challenge when we’re internally misaligned and forced into directions we don’t want to go.
So, before you do anything, get to know your inner motivation and values. What or who is dictating your dreams? As thisbehavioral science article on how others influence us, social influence can also positively impact goals.
So, how can you support and influence each other so you can pursue your dream and be in a relationship while also supporting your dreams?
1. Check-in regularly
When it comes to chasing your dreams while in a relationship, the worst you can do is get lost in those dreams without checking in with your partner. A better approach is to first agree on relationship goals.
To give you some ideas, those goals can be practical such as financial or number of children and where to live. They can also focus on soft skills such as communication, teamwork and conflict management.
2. Communicate
Chasing/pursuing dreams together is only possible if you talk often. Relationships often break down not just because there isn’t communication but also because of thinking traps such as expecting your partner to mind-read.
A therapy clinic details common thinking traps but these aren’t just practiced by those with a mental illness. We all use them all the time.
The only way to work through these thinking traps is to become more self-aware. You can even support each other and highlight together which traps you tend to use the most. This will help you in all aspects of your life, including chasing your dreams while in a relationship.
3. Listen deeply
Communication is about exchanging ideas and feelings. If, on the other hand, you don’t listen to the other person, that so-called communication becomes a 1-way discourse.
The key to a healthy relationship is to practice listening deeply. You first do this by setting the intention to avoid distractions and to be there fully for your partner.
Stay open as you listen to their dreams while imagining being in their shoes. What does it truly feel like to be them? The more you do this, the deeper you connect and the more likely you’ll find common ground for your dreams.
You can learn more about listening skills, and even about listening like a therapist, by watching this short video by Dr. Ali, the clinical psychologist.
4. Align values
It isn’t easy to agree on relationship priorities if you have different values in life. For example, if you value independence above all else but they value family, you might have different interpretations of what alone time looks like.
Moreover, you might be reluctant to share the details of your dreams. Ultimately, you’re independent, so you can do them alone. Wrong.
When chasing your dreams while in a relationship, you need to discuss them and mull them together. You never know, your partner might pleasantly surprise you with their input and support.
It’s also worth noting that different values aren’t necessarily irreconcilable; it just means you must find a compromise. In this case, how can you honor both your need for independence and your need to prioritize the family? In other words, how can you balance your time?
5. Know your relationship vision
How to build a healthy relationship means knowing where you’re headed. This is about something other than having a task list for the year. It’s about exploring how you can transform your lives together.
For example, one vision could be to support each other’s dreams while providing better opportunities for our children. Another example could be to keep asking each other questions to help challenge yourselves to become better people.
Whatever it is, think big and think both independently and together. You also want to review different themes in your life, including how to balance career and relationship. Finally, come together, compare your notes and combine them.
Please don’t fall into the trap of discarding any points; instead, think about how to integrate them into one vision. Chasing your dreams while in a relationship then ensues naturally with your vision as the foundation.
6. Compare goals
Of course, it isn’t easy when your goals are mismatched but don’t despair. There’s always a way to find a middle ground within personal goals as long as your relationship goals are aligned or negotiated.
For instance, you might prioritize providing education for your children but your partner prefers retirement planning to be at the top of the list. Those are compatible, but you need a bit of financial planning to meet both.
Once you know your relationship goals and plan your individual goals, chasing your dreams while in a relationship won’t feel insurmountable anymore.
7. Support your partner
The key to a healthy relationship is to treat your partner with care and respect or as the Gottman Institute describes in their article on happy relationships: friendship and conflict management.
In other words, supporting each other is critical so that chasing your dreams while in a relationship won’t ever be a problem.
So, listen, ask questions and give your partner space for their dreams.
8. Compassionate compromise
A healthy relationship, chasing dreams is built on compassion. While we are social beings, maintaining a relationship is something we must learn.
For example, we’re more likely to be irritable when standing up for ourselves than being compassionate and understanding. And yes, even romantic relationships involve some form of power play.
To get through this, learn about your emotions and how to manage them more wisely, so they don’t overwhelm you. Everyone can learn to pause before reacting.
The Gottman Institute’s emotion coaching is often for children but it’s just as applicable to adults. In summary, connect with your emotions and to each other, name your emotions together and then problem-solve.
9. Know both your “non-negotiables”
When you balance your relationship and dreams, you want to compromise compassionately. The flip side is knowing where you’re unwilling to sacrifice yourself.
Everyone has a point beyond which they’re miserable. Make sure that that point is clearly defined and find ways to accommodate both of yours without becoming rigid or fixed.
10. Plan together
All of the above takes planning and strategizing. You do this together regularly with the overall aim of creating a healthy relationship.
We often forget that our personal lives need just as much attention and forethought as our professional lives, yet we often forget. So, rather than getting frustrated while chasing your dreams while in a relationship, get your diary out and make those lists.
Balancing your career and relationship can be challenging, depending on your various commitments. Nevertheless, if you just let life happen to you, you’ll never achieve balance, let alone your dreams.
FAQ
What’s the best approach to pursuing your individual goals while honoring your relationship?
A healthy relationship when chasing dreams, is built on a powerful vision. Developing that vision means asking both of yourselves what common dream you want to aim for.
You then agree on how you will get there and what your milestone goals will look like. During that process, you also share your personal goals and you communicate to establish a compromise such that they too are on your relationship roadmap.
Think of your relationship as a business that needs a strategy, vision, goals, and regular reviews.
How do you align both of your dreams in a relationship?
Can you chase a dream and be in a relationship? Yes, you can, but to many, it seems impossible. In those cases, it’s often the mismatched values or miscommunication that’s the problem rather than the dreams.
If chasing your dreams while in a relationship feels like a struggle, reach out to pre-marriage counseling. You’ll get the support you need to learn communication and alignment techniques.
It all rests on listening deeply and navigating your emotions so that you can find common ground within both your dreams.
In a nutshell
If your relationship priorities feel disjointed, you must go back to basics. First on your own and then together, define your values, vision and relationship goals. It’s easier to discuss individual goals and how they fit into the overall plan.
Of course, you can and should pursue your dreams and be in a relationship simultaneously. In the long run, this is the crux of a relationship: to balance both your individual and relationship goals and needs.
There will always be ups and downs but chasing your dreams in a relationship is possible with open communication, compassion, and regular check-ins. You’ll then find that balancing relationships and dreams come naturally while also being a never-ending journey.
Nevertheless, if you find emotions getting the better of you, don’t ignore pre-marriage counseling to get the support you need to develop healthy conflict management. No one deserves to sacrifice their dreams for anyone.
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